The asphalt was hot, the heat rising up from the black pavement, activating a smell that is specific to Downtown Los Angeles- a mixture of filth and urine. I was posed leaning against my car, smoking a cigarette and defrosting from my office which is always an igloo. One arm across my chest holding my other arm, which was raised, propping the cigarette in between two fingers, a trail of smoke adding to the smell of dirty alleys, desperation of the homeless, trash. I was facing the back of the parking lot, where a chain link fence separated the lot from an alley and past that another parking lot. When suddenly a face appeared, just a head, peering at me, the body was hidden behind a wall.
“Hey,” said a black man wearing a sparkly purple jacket and sunglasses. A large diamond cross hung around his neck. “Hey,” I said back.
“Why are people so lost nowadays?” he asked me.
These are the conversations my soul craves and although usually the only people who will indulge me are either high off various illegal substances or people 100 years old and finally facing what life is as they lie on their deathbed, I will take what I can get. They are tough questions, I can understand why people avoid thinking about them, although I dont believe they can be avoided forever.
I flicked some ash onto the ground and took a long inhale, and as I blew out the smoke, I shrugged. “A lot of reasons,” I said.
“You think people are lost too?” he asked me.
“Absolutely,” I affirmed and added, “I myself feel lost.”
He nodded. “Thats why you have to have faith. Thats what keeps me straight, what keeps me hopeful,” he said. “Do you believe in God?” he asked me.
“I do,” I told him, intrigued.
“People need to believe in one another more, like how they did way back in the days, you know?” I was locked in, and even though my cigarette was nearing its end, I knew I would stay here longer to talk. I added onto his sentiment, “people seemed tougher, braver. People are cowards now.”
“No one talks to one another! Thats what Im saying, it just dont make sense.”
“We are talking though,” I pointed out and he smiled. He was still just a head and neck peeking through the fence at me, one empty parking space separating us.
“Whats your name?” he asked.
“Casey,” I told him.
“Thats not your name,” he said grinning.
Ugh, its not! What the fuck.
“ImOld G,” he said, releasing me from the pressure of having to admit to my lie.
“Its nice to meet you Old G,” I said.
Just then a car drove through the alley and Old G waved to the driver who ignored him completely.
“Are you on a break from work?” he asked, returning his attention to me.
“I am.”
“Do you like your job?”
“No.”
“Its hard to do what you love in this world, listen I hear that,” he told me and it almost brought me to tears for some reason.
“Whats something you love in this world?” I asked him.
“My Ma,” he said without hesitation. “My Ma was a single mother and she was strong as hell. If I ever have to think of something good in the world I think of her.”
“She sounds special,” I said, smiling at him.
“Is that your car? With the car seat in the back?”
“Yes,” I said hesitantly. Jenn youll lie about your name but be honest about your car? Your discernment could not be more deranged.
“Youre a mother too,” he acknowledged.
I was looking at him, considering what to say and do. I could sum him up and write him off as “crazy”or a “creep.” I could brush him off and leave. I could even go so far as to report him to our hotels security and have them escort him away from the parking lot.
“It’s scary being a mother,” I said instead. “This world doesnt make any sense to me and I dont know how Im going to navigate my son through it. Im worried I will fail him.”
Revealing this deep-seated fear to Old G felt good. It didnt make me feel fragile or in danger. It felt real. Although we didnt even know each others legitimate names, here we were being nothing else to one another than just human beings who exist together in the same world.
“Listen, my Ma loved me and thats all I needed. Love him and he will love others. Thats what will fix this messed up world too. You know it.”
“I do,” I said, grateful for him and slightly bewildered.
There are two ways to look at life. One is that nothing is a miracle. The other is that everything is. Even an honest, though brief, encounter that leaves you feeling hopeful and connected.
“I have to get back to work, but it was really nice talking to you. Im glad we met,” I told him sincerely.
“Hey me too! Thanks for actually talking with me like we was in the old days of Downtown. Out walking the streets meeting people. Talking the truth! You have a good day,” he said to me, still just a head peeking through the fence.
I gathered up my things and began to walk away when he hollered after me.
Do you happen to know Tyra Banks?”
I turned, confused.
“I ask because you look like them models.”
I laughed. “I dont know Tyra Banks.”
Remember to have faith,” he pointed at me and I finally saw his entire being, he was on the shorter side, wearing jeans and sneakers. “Never lose faith!” he said. Then with a smile, “alright, bye now,” and he disappeared behind the wall.
When I returned to the office, I took my seat next to Bryant. “How was your break?” he asked, not looking up from typing. “I think I met an angel,” I told him and he didnt flinch. Bryant is my best friend and knows me better than possibly anyone ever has, so this out of pocket response was not alarming to him in any way. “Hmmm, did you?” he stopped typing and turned to me.
“His name is Old G.” Bryants face was stoic as I explained Old Gs head and diamond cross, his sparkly jacket and the conversation we had. “Jennifer,” he said, gathering thoughts that he was struggling to put into words. “These things…. only happen to you,” he said and then started chuckling to himself.
“Do you think Old G might have been an angel?” I asked him, and he didnt look back at me like I was insane. Instead, Bryant nodded. “I do,” he said. “This is why people need to spend more time out in the streets,” I said. “Eh, I dont know about that,” Bryant concluded.
Everyday, I park in the same lot and I look for Old G.
But I havent seen him since.
Word Vomit 